Photo by Rowen Smith.
Mindful breathing reduces cortisol, the fight-or-flight juice that takes over when we really need it but can be pesky at other times.
We’ve all been there: a fit of the blues, anxiety that makes whatever stress you’re facing worse. “Everyone experiences anxiety, agitation, sadness, stress, and discomfort,” says Sarah Gugluizza, LCSW-R, PMH-C, founder of Rising Lotus Counseling in Stone Ridge. “Often it can be fleeting and situational; sometimes it feels bigger and can last a while. Having tools and strategies to call on while going through uncomfortable feelings and stressors can make a major difference in how we cope in the moment and navigate our larger world.” So here are some tips that can help you let go of a bad mood, stat. Later, you can make time to explore why the feeling hit like that; in the moment, you just want relief.
Photo by Darius Bashar.
1. CONTROLLED OR MINDFUL BREATHING
Controlled or mindful breathing can be done anytime, anywhere; it’s great if you can sit or lie down, but it’ll help even if you’re standing in line. Start with a couple of good, deep breaths, all the way to your belly. Then slow it down and focus. Breathe in through your nose for a slow count of four, hold for seven, and exhale long and slow through your mouth for about eight, or shorten the counts if these feel too long.
Other mindful breathing methods to try: box breathing—inhale for four, exhale for four, repeat—and nostril breathing—inhale while closing one nostril with your thumb, then exhale through the other nostril, closing the first with your index finger. Some people like balloon breathing, in which you visualize a balloon that inflates during your long inhale. Hold for a few seconds, then exhale slowly as your imaginary balloon deflates. Repeat three to five times. After a couple of those breaths, let up and just breathe deeply. Feel your chest rise and fall. Notice where your mind goes, but gently lead it back to your breathing. Some people like to imagine breathing in warm white light, turning it gold in their lungs, and releasing it as a wave of love for the world.
No matter how rushed you are, there’s always time for a basic calming breath—two quick inhales, one long exhale—that creates an immediate relaxation in your body. Mindful breathing reduces cortisol, the fight-or-flight juice that takes over when we really need it but that can be pesky at other times.
Photo by Conscious Design.
Photo by Shashi Chaturvedula.
2. STRAIGHTEN OUT
Often, especially if we’re stressed, we hold that tension or sadness in our bodies in ways that can leave us achy or uncomfortable. As with breathing, it’s great if you can sit or lie down for this, but it’ll still help when that’s impossible. Start by relaxing your shoulders and raising your chin. Better already! Then focus your attention on the rest of your body. Starting with your toes, tighten and release each muscle in turn, working your way up to your face and head.
3. SENSORY GROUNDING
Sensory grounding, Gugluizza says, “brings you out of an uncomfortable sensation—an anxiety attack, sadness, or being overwhelmed—and reconnects your focus back into your body in the present moment.” already! Then focus your attention on the rest of your body. Starting with your toes, tighten and release each muscle in turn, working your way up to your face and head.
Ground with the five senses: Focus your attention on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
“Simply cooling down pressure points on your body helps, because as your body cools, so will your mood,” Gugluizza says.
Photo by Austin Kehmeier.
Ground with colors: Pick a color, then focus on identifying all items in your immediate space that are of that color for a minute or two. Repeat with different colors until you feel secure in your space, instead of focused on the negative emotion.
4. VISUALIZATION
If you’re nervous about a future task, visualize it going smoothly. Visualize your negative self-talk as a TV or radio station you can change; squish the thoughts up into a ball and toss them aside while you visualize yourself walking, biking, swimming, or gliding away. “You can train your brain to think about a circumstance the way that you want it to be,” Gugluizza says. “Make a conscious effort to reframe your thought or experience with a positive tone or association. Even something as seemingly simple as switching your mindset about an upcoming task from ‘I have to—’ to ‘I get to—’ can make an amazing difference in your mindset. You now have a privilege, not an obligation.”
5. CHILL OUT
“As your body cools, so will your mood,” Gugluizza says. “A quick way to do this is running your wrists under cool or cold water. Water in itself has a calming effect for most people. Engaging your body in running water will bring down your emotional temperature in the moment; it’s a literal cooling effect.”
Photo by Divaris Shirichena.
Photo by Vitaly Gariev.
Some people find quick relief by applying a cold pack to the back of the neck. That’s where your vagus nerve lives, and it controls your parasympathetic nervous system. Cooling it down can stop the flood of cortisol, slowing your heart rate and breathing and lowering your blood pressure.
6. BUTTERFLY TAPPING
Butterfly tapping, Gugluizza says, is “like giving yourself a hug but better.” To butterfly tap, cross your arms in front of your chest, placing your hands on your upper arms. Gently tap or pat your upper arms alternately, from one side to the other. Continue tapping for several minutes, focusing on the rhythm and the sensation of your hands on your arms. Mimic the fluttering motion of a butterfly’s wings. “These movements stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system in your brain, which is responsible for resting and digestion,” Gugluizza explains.
7. DISTRACTION
Find something cool or useful to do and do it. “This could be anything that provides you with a positive distraction,” Gugluizza says.” Baking, calling a friend, watching a show, eating a snack, playing a sport or a video game, scrolling funny videos—whatever you love. You start enjoying the positive activity and the negative thoughts lose their power.”
Photo by Johnny McClung.
Don’t wait until you’re actually in need of these tips to try them out. “Practice different coping tools to find out what works for you and create effective options,” Gugluizza says.
“What keeps one person calm in an emotional storm might not work for another; a skill that works in one situation might not work in another. Practice helps you find the skills that feel successful and comfortable, so you can call on them confidently when the going gets tough.”
Share these techniques with the children and teens in your life as needed. (Just saying “Hey, wanna learn a cool trick?” gets you halfway to a win.) “The earlier someone learns to stay emotionally regulated, even in the face of difficult emotions, the more resilient and better skilled they will be—attuned to their body, able to practice emotional self-care,” says Gugluizza, who specializes in treating children and teens.
“Try out these things with your kids and talk about when and how to use these skills.
You’re fostering emotional wellness as a daily practice, instilling valuable abilities, and it may also help to create a culture of calmness at home.” Gugluizza has written a children’s book,
Goodnight My Wiggle Worm, that teaches grounding, relaxation, and emotional regulation in kid-friendly language; you can find it on Googlygirlspress.com.
All of these tactics work best from a place of strength. “Your ability to handle challenging moments will be stronger if you’re practicing overall healthy habits,” Gugluizza says.
“Enough sleep, nutrient-dense foods, getting plenty of fresh air and sunshine, moving your body regularly—even if you just walk. Doing simple activities you enjoy, like putting on a favorite song to sing and dance to, laughing at a funny video, or catching up with a good friend—all of those are great mental health maintenance.”
rising lotus counseling
3780 Main St, Stone Ridge, NY 12484
718-986-7470
risinglotuscounseling.org
